RAMON PRESSON: When life gives you lemons, keep the juice away from a paper cut


RAMON PRESSON: When life gives you lemons, keep the juice away from a paper cut

I overheard the person say it as though she had recently come out of a 20-year coma and had just stumbled upon the phrase as a fresh novelty and nugget of wisdom that simply had to be shared with the rest of the world.

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” she said with a head tilt and smile. I imagined she probably has the lemons-to-lemonade Ziggy poster in her scrapbooking room. I glanced to see her friend’s reaction — a furrowed brow and a silent scream of “Oh Dear God, I’ve got to get some new friends!”

As a professional counselor I’m a big fan of re-framing a negative or putting adversity in perspective. I enjoy helping clients put on new glasses with alternative lenses to view themselves and their circumstances. I just prefer to do that myself rather than having it be done by a trite cliché-involving fruit. So I thought I would give the lemons-to-lemonade a twist. Pick your favorite and make it into a poster.

When life gives you lemons … stick some firecrackers in ’em and blow them all to heck!

When life gives you lemons … insert them into the tailpipe of your boss’ car.

When life gives you lemons … re-gift them. (You know you’ve got someone in mind.)

When life hands you lemons … jump up and down, scream, and act like a crazy person who just won a new car on “The Price is Right.” Life will be afraid to bring you lemons ever again.

When life gives you lemons … hold them like a split finger fastball and throw them back at life’s head.

When life hands you lemons … hand them back and say, “I ordered a strawberry daiquiri.”

When life gives you lemons … paint them like grenades, duct tape them to your chest, walk into Starbucks and say to the barista, “I want a venti skinny pumpkin spice latte and I WANT IT NOW!!!”

When life gives you lemons … make spiked lemonade, open a stand, and undersell the neighbor’s kid.

When life gives you lemons … leave them outside in the sun until they shrivel up. Tell yourself that your problems will do the same if you just ignore them also.

When life gives you lemons … take them to Kroger and say, “I told my husband to get key limes. Key limes! Not lemons. I married a dolt!”

When life gives you lemons … carve them like little tiny jack-o-lanterns. They’re cheaper than pumpkins but much less fun to smash.

When life gives you lemons … never mistake the juice for eye drops!

When life gives you lemons .. .take them to Chick-fil-A and say, “The lemonade I bought here yesterday was not very fresh. Here, try again.”

When life gives you lemons … it could be worse. Life could give you prunes and you never see photos of prunes or prune juice in a motivational poster.

When life gives you melons … you might be dyslexic or just really bad at spelling.

Ramon Presson, PhD, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Franklin (www.ramonpressontherapy.com) and the author of several books. Reach him at ramonpresson@gmail.com.

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